I've almost had it

After 27 years as a field policeman with the BAC, Christophe Girard wants to end it all. He's 41, alone in his car, and pulls out his gun.

"J'ai failli en finir" is the detailed, no-holds-barred descent into hell of a policeman like so many others. He joins the force for its values, faces extremely stressful situations, danger and death, and gets hooked on adrenalin. Then, year after year, the situation becomes more and more unbearable.

This book is the testimony of a police officer who's cracked and who's coming to terms with it. It tells of the terrain, the violence, the depression, and their devastating effects. He also describes in detail the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. He then asks: how many people consider suicide? How many suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder?

To "heal", Christophe Girard first fought a personal battle, then embarked on a mission to help his peers and alleviate psychological suffering, by freeing the word. His aim is to raise awareness of the difficulties faced by a profession with a high suicide rate (1,100 police officers have committed suicide in the last 25 years, representing 44 suicides a year, a rate 50% higher than that of the French population). He co-created the association Pep's - SOS Policiers en détresse, and his action will help prevent dozens of suicides.